Sunday, March 30, 2014

Shout out to the working mama!!

             There is something that has been bothering me as of late. I keep seeing all the posts about stay at home moms on Facebook. Most of them eluding to how they don't receive enough credit for the work that they do in the home. Which is something I definitely don't disagree with, but I always get this sense of criticism from them as well, eluding to the fact that if you are a woman with kids and choose to work outside the home that there is something wrong with you?!
           One of my biggest pet peeves since becoming a new mom is this new world of mom-to-mom comparison. I can't even tell you how much criticism I received because I chose to wait 5 years to try for a baby. And then every time I ever say anything about my mom struggles or new milestones's always "oh you just wait until 'fill in the blank'" and it drives. Me. Crazy! Whatever happened to just listening to someone and being a shoulder to cry on or someone to lean on for support? It always seems like everyone tries to one-up each other these days.
          Anyway, back to my original point. Each time I read one of those types of posts or hear some snyde remark about how someone's life is somehow better because they don't do things that certain way, I can't help but feel a small ping in my heart. On many occasions it has caused me to question my decision to be a working mother. My husband has even brought it up on more than one occasion that he feels bad that other people criticize him and me for that choice and apologizes as if he has done something wrong. He had someone tell him once, "we won't ever have a house like yours because I won't ever "make" my wife work" as if my husband has some sort of control over me and is forcing me to have a job. Made me pretty mad. And our house is normal thank you very much. We don't live in a mansion and we stay in our budget. We live within our means. It kills me that they made such an assumption.
            So just to clarify. I CHOOSE to work. And  I LOVE my job. Not only do I need some time outside of the house to maintain my own sanity, but I enjoy the time I have at my job. I like my bosses, I like my clients, I like my coworkers and I like the work that I do. I am gone anywhere from 22-25 hours per week for my job, including driving time. So I am lucky to have that kind of flexibility that most others might not be able to have. I also would not trade that time for ANYTHING because my husband gets to have one on one time with our daughter that he otherwise wouldn't have. He has a wonderful relationship with her and  they adore each other. I really do feel that me being gone at work has played a huge role in this fact. Why is it always pressed on us to have such stereotypical roles in a household? My husband and I definitely don't fit the normal household mold. He cooks and cleans and helps with the baby. I go to school and do all the house projects and handyman stuff. We both work outside the home so we both get to spend time with our daughter equally.
           A problem I feel that society has these days is that we put SO much pressure on men to be successful in the world. How is it fair to ask them to be gone to work for a house they never spend any time in? Or to spend that much time away from their kids? I want my hubby to have the same opportunities as a parent that I do so that we are equal in this partnership.
           Now, I should clarify, this is not a criticism of stay at home moms or working dads. I just feel like there is a gross misrepresentation of the working mom. Both are great things and I feel like both should be recognized and praised equally.
           As women and as moms it should be important to lift each other up, not tear others down. We should praise motherhood and all it's differences and not be so quick to compare and criticize.
I'm done feeling like crap by other people because I work outside the home. I shouldn't have to feel bad because we do things differently.
So I always give a shout out to the SAHM. But this post is to all my working/employed mamas out there, unite and be proud of the work that you do!

Ok I'll get off my soap box now. :)

All my love

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Catching Up

It's been a while since I posted. My bad. Well obviously we had the baby. Hooray for that one. I definitely had a different birth experience than I thought I would. I guess I don't really know what I expected but it turned out a little different than I thought. My birth story is pretty short. I was only in labor for 12 hours total. I expected much much longer...
i was scheduled for my induction on the day I was 41 weeks. The hospital was supposed to call me the night before to confirm and they never did. So when I called them they said I wasn't on the schedule until the following week. Needless to say.. It was a big problem. So I had to call the doctors office the next morning to straighten everything out. I'm not sure where the mix up was but they got it fixed to where I was back on the schedule for that night at 8 pm. It was super annoying but oh well. So right around the time I was getting this all figured out, around 9 am or so, was when my contractions started on their own. So we decided to go out on some errands and get some lunch and see what would happen. By about 2:30 we decided just to go to the hospital since they had been consistent for more than 4 hrs. at about 3 min apart and getting more intense. they always said youd know if you were in labor... and these were definitely different than any i had before..
Once we got there they took me straight to a room since I was supposed to be induced that night anyway. I was super happy that I went into labor on my own. I never really felt good about an induction. I checked in and was at a 4 so we just hung out for a while. Around 4pm the doctor came in and broke my water. And man it got crazy from there. I made it like another half hour and was about ready to die. Props to women who go natural. It wasn't happening for me. I got the epidural around 4:30  and was in heaven after that. Got checked again around 7 and was at an 8+ so things were progressing pretty fast. Around 8pm I was at a  10 and the  nurse  said they wanted to let her rest and descend for about a hour before I would start pushing. I started pushing around 8:45 or so and had her at 9:53. I pushed for about an hour, but she got stuck at the last little bit and didn't want to come out or something. So they called in the doctor and she determined that she wasn't gonna come out on her own with just my pushing. They decided  to do an episiotomy so that she had more room. After that she came out in 2 contractions. And the rest of the labor mess, lol, came out right after her. So while I got stitched up she got cleaned. Apparently she swallowed and breathed in a lot of fluids and junk when she came out so she didn't really cry. She was in slight distress so they decided they needed to take her to the nursery to try and get her to give her a bath and make her cry. When they cry it pushes the fluids in their lungs out into the blood stream so that why they were trying to do that. So I got to hold her for just a min and then they took her away. M went with her and my mom went to find my dad so I was alone for like 20 min before someone came back. It was kinda crazy. She did fine though and they brought her back to us when I was in recovery. She weighed in at 7 pounds 4 ounces and was 21 inches long. She had jet black hair like her dads but it has lightened up quite a bit since then. We stayed in the hospital til Friday afternoon and then went home. She had some struggles in the beginning with nursing but by Thursday afternoon she had it figured out. She has nursed like a champ ever since. It's pretty exhausting I'm not gonna lie.. I never get a break with constantly having to feed her. It's worth it though not having to pay for formula and for her to get all the benefits of it. After about 2 weeks post partum I was feeling a lot better. Dealing with the stitches was no fun at all. I thought at the time that it was horrible but looking back it wasn't so bad. I would do it again lol. It's true that you forget. We are all doing good now. She sleeps decently at night and isn't too fussy during the day. She got a cold already at 4 weeks and has had 3 more since then. I originally wrote all this when she was 8 weeks old and now sheis 4 1/2 months and is a totally chunk! Man that girl can eat. She talks like crazy and loves to stand, although not on her own yet. She sort of likes cereal but not really. She has started laughing a little bit now too which is super cute. We just love her to pieces. Can't imagine life without her now. I just can't believe how big she is. She is as big as some of her 6 month old cousins and friends, it's kind of crazy. We take her in next week for her next checkup so we will see how big she really is.

Well that is pretty much everything that has been going on with us lately. We are just trying to adjust to the new life with a baby. We love her so much it's crazy! I'm really surprised how much it has changed M. He is totally smitten with her and she already has him wrapped around her little finger.

I'll try to keep this more updated as things happen. But it's really hard with a baby to sit down and write things down. I just didn't want to forget about the details of that day. And I'm hoping I don't forget the little things about her as she grows so I'm going to try and be better about writing them down.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Baby Showers/ 37 weeks

Well once again, it's been a little while since my last post.. not much going on in this household except everything baby related. I finally made it to my baby showers- I had 2- one family one and one from some co-workers. they were both super awesome and I had lots of fun at them both. Thanks to everyone that came and supported us and for those who sent gifts too- we are far too spoiled :)
So I will try and keep my post brief and just post lots of pics since those are more fun any way!

Here are just some pics from the shower decor and all the people who came.. I'm not gonna try and caption every photo though...

This is a blanket that was found when they cleaned out my grandmas house.. she sewed it and my grandpa tied it- so it's like I get to have a small piece of them. I love it. And I'm so glad that I got to have this

 Not really sure what I was trying to do here with the stuffed animals... I guess I wanted them to be friends :)

Everyone was coveting this awesome blanket one of my friends made us- it's seriously so cute though!

 All the LOOT! wahoo!!

me with all the stuff- (33 weeks along)

Me and my babe with all our awesome stuff- we are so blessed! 

These next few are me with some friends from a work shower my manager threw me

mmmmmm cake pops...

some more recent pics of the nursery..

Found this bumper pad for 10 bucks. I'm pretty proud of myself cuz it goes so perfectly in the nursery :)

As of late I have become quite the bargain shopper too. I love it. I would thrift shop every day if I could! Who knew there were such amazing things out there if you just look. I figure if I can wash it- then who cares?? I got like 150 dollars worth of name brand baby clothes from places like Childrens Place, Gymboree, Carters and a bunch that they sell at target and kohls... all for under 20 bucks! and I washed them... and they are good as new. Babies wear clothes for such a short amount of time and just lay around all the time so these clothes could seriously be re-tagged and sold for full price back in the regular stores and no one would be able to tell the difference. I have a hard time going to the other stores now cuz of how much they want to charge for one little baby outfit. I actually got the idea from a friend of mine on facebook who is a big blogger and she is always finding her baby girl all these cute vintage dresses... so thats why I went to look. and I just kept finding awesome stuff!! So I highly recommend it to all you parents out there... you'll save a TON of money.

And well... here's another belly pic. 37 weeks!! holy crap that went by fast... now it just needs to be done lol. This pic is yucky but whatev...

I've been feeling like I need to be done being pregnant for about a week now. Too bad babies come on their own time. Who knows when she will decide to come at this point... knowing my luck she won't wanna come at all and I'll have to wait til a week after my due date to be induced- sad day! :(

Had a little labor scare at 33 weeks, the night before my piano recital. Not that I wouldn't LOVE to have her here... but 33 weeks is just WAY too early. Long story short... I was at work and started feeling sick and crappy... then my belly started hurting... then the belly contracting made me throw up a bunch... so everyone at work made me go to the hospital.. my manager even drove me too. My contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart and I couldn't get them to stop... so we had a fun trip to L&D to get a shot and an IV of fluids in me. Not fun at all, especially when they have to stick you 7 times to get the dumb IV in! ugh!! we were only there a few hours and once they stopped digging in my arms.. I got feeling much better and slowly the contractions tapered off and stopped and we got to go home. I have NO idea why this happened... I didn't do anything to provoke it and nothing I did that day was any different than every other day I've had in this pregnancy so it was all just kind of weird... and rather annoying.

Luckily.. if it happens again.. I won't have to stop it and she can just come! yay! she is considered full term now so I'm not as worried about it happening again. I just really don't want it to happen while I'm at work again though. That was awful. but I have the BEST co-workers on the planet. they all helped me SO much when all this happened... I even had one of them holding my hair while I puked... How nice is that??? They all took care of me and sent me on my way to the hospital.. I hardly had to do anything.. they did everything except carry me out to the car! lol. it was awesome! I totally owe them a ton for it. They went above and beyond what any co-worker needs to do for another. So glad I work there.

Anyway...  not much else going on in our little world. My cute popo hubby is loving his job. I knew he would. But I'm just glad he is so happy with it. I never knew how much paperwork is involved with him being out on the road now but he doesn't mind it too much. We are hoping that things continue to go well and that soon he can transfer so he is working a little closer to home.

well, I think that's all for now.. we are all ready for this baby to come, so now we just wait. Hopefully it happens soon, cuz I am HATING these last few weeks. I'll try and keep you all posted. Hopefully my next post will involve the arrival of a new baby!! yay!!

Til next time...

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Catching Up!

Well I am officially a slacker and haven't really gotten on here to post anything for like 3 months. My bad lol. Whats even worse is I haven't even taken any more belly pictures since the last one I posted so I guess there is just gonna have to be a gap in the timeline:)

We've been very busy here at our house. Getting the nursery done, my hubby started a new job which is always super stressful, trying to get the rest of the house in order for the baby to come. Plus all the everyday things and working full time still... I am one tired lady!

I am in total shock that this baby will be here within the next 8 weeks. This pregnancy went by WAY too quickly for me. It's starting to slow down a little bit, but not much. We've started packing our hospital bag and I had to pre-register for my hospital stay today which just made it all seem even more real.

The baby is still doing great. We both have this worry that since this pregnancy has been so boringly normal, and she is pretty much an angel baby in the womb that the delivery will be horrific or she will turn out to be a demon child once she is here. lol. no worries- we will totally love her just the same. Things have just gone perfect thus far.... almost too perfect. And I am definitely a pessimist, so I'm just waiting for the bad parts to start... because in my mind, they are inevitable.

I guess we will just have to wait and see though! Baby girl is doing really well though. Right now I am just past my 32 week mark. Baby wieghs somewhere around 4.5lbs and will most likely be somewhere in the 7.5 range for delivery based on her growth rates and size right now. She has turned into the biggest wiggler the past few weeks... I swear she must be doing gymnastics or something because she is seriously all over the place! My only pregnancy complaint right now is how uncomfortable I am getting. My SI joints are completely separated at this point which makes for some painful moments and the inability to bend over very often or for very long. I also have one side of my rib cage thats giving me issues, but I'm pretty sure it's mostly coming from my back. I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore so I can go in and get a good massage to fix me back to normal again!

M has felt her move several times at this point. She is a stinker and stops everytime he tries, but she is very active at night so he has gotten to experience it a little bit. He just look at my stomach with a weird look and just says how crazy it is and that there is an alien in my belly lol. He has made such a turn around from where we were a year ago though. I can tell he is excited for her to get here. He is still really stressed about everything that comes with having a baby, but we've worked through it all and when he talks about the baby, you can just tell he is already loving her a ton. He is seriously going to be the best dad.

With fathers day coming up, I just can't help but take a minute and give him some recognition. He has been so good to me the past 8 months. He is already trying to take care of his baby girl, even though she isn't technically here yet. Anytime I have to stop to take a breath or have a sore spot where she is pushing or I make a weird face, he is all over it like, "whats's wrong, are you ok? what can I do, what do you need" etc. he is constantly waiting on me and just overall tries to make my life easier anyway that he can. I can't wait to see him with our baby. Definitely a moment in our lives that I have been looking forward to.

Anyway.. sorry to bore you all with tales of our everyday life... SO here's some more interesting things with pictures that is probably way more fun to look at.

As I said before, I have been working on the nursery like mad, trying to get it all done. I finally got the last wall painted, the crib built, the dresser sanded and stained. and then I even did a little bit of decorating. So here is all my progress so far. I still have alot of little things I want to add so it's not quite all the way finished, but the majority is done.

Here is the last wall that sits behind the crib :) I LOVE it

this is the BEFORE pic of the dresser

and this is the AFTER! 

this dresser just about killed me with how hard it was to sand it. I really love how it turned out though :) just wish it hadn't taken over 2 months lol

Here's our crib with the skirt I just finished tonight ( I still have a few spots to fix on it but I ran out of fabric lol) 

a closer look at it. it looks kinda messy in this pic but it seriously looks so cute in person. I love how it turned out. 

 here's a look at the rest of the room. Lovin my lanterns :)

this is the best pic I have of the overall room

Like I said, it's still a work in progress. I want to add curtains, a rug, some wall decor, plus we still need to put at least a sheet on the crib cuz it's just bare right now except for the skirt.. so still a little ways to go. But it's nothing we can't do once she gets here if we don't get around to it before then.

here's some US pics of her. 30wks. Everyone says she is gonna have M's nose and mouth

It's so crazy how much detail you can see on ultrasound these days. I love it. I think i forget there is an actual person in my belly moving around, but seeing her actual face makes it very real. I'm excited to see what she really looks like in person. Most people say they don't always look like the US pictures because everything else in your belly distorts it a little bit. I guess we will just have to wait and see! :) 

and last but not least..... the buddah belly lol

I always made fun of people who took bathroom pics from their cell phones.. but I'm too lazy to fix the camera with the timer and all that junk... so here I am.. I am now one of those people. haha. 
this is 32 weeks 1 day.
everyone keeps telling me how small I am and how tiny my belly is... I think they are all blind and nuts!! but..... I appreciate it anyway. It's nice to know other people don't think I am as big as a house. I sure feel like it though. and even if they are lying.. I love them for it! :)

I think that's all I'll post for now since it's late and this post is becoming too lengthy. I'll try and keep up on the blog a little better and do a couple more posts before she comes and then I'll have LOTS to blog about once she actually gets here :) :) can't wait! 

til next time!

Monday, April 9, 2012

busy week!!

well we got 3 walls in the nursery done.. haven't started on the other one yet. Hopefully I'll have it done in the next month or so. Just depends on how much energy I have on my days off. here's some photos of the wall in our living room and the 3 walls in the nursery that are done
Living Room Wall
Still haven't hung any pictures yet.. hopefully I'll get around to it :)

The first 2 pics make it look super bright but it really isn't too bright when you see it in person. The last wall needs to be painted white and then taped off for the cool squares I'm gonna do on it. and I swear the living room and nursery aren't the same color... very different actually.. it just kind of looks that way in the pics. Weird lighting I guess.

This past weekend we also celebrated easter. We didn't really do a whole lot. I went to my moms for dinner on Sunday. And we colored some eggs with our friends on friday night. It was kind of funny to see Mac in an apron too. I look gross in the  pics but he looks cute so I'll post em anyway :)
They both look super excited about it lol
our awesome eggs!! 
I look super gross, but this is us with our eggs. At least my honey looks cute :)

Lots of changes happening with us this week. Nothing I will go into at the moment. For now we are just trying to enjoy life and spend as much time together as we can before this baby gets here. We might have a name picked, but I hate to say that because we still have 4 more months to go and we have a tendency to change our minds alot. So I think we will just sit with it for a little while and make sure we still like it later. Who knows, maybe it won't fit her when she gets here and we'll change it last minute. 
I'm super excited to get the nursery done. We should be ordering the crib soon which makes it feel even more real. It's hard to picture how different our lives are this summer compared to last year. Things can definitely change overnight and that's how it feels right now. 

we are so blessed to have such supportive family and friends in our lives. I'm so proud of my hubby for all of the great things he has accomplished this far in his life. He works so hard and I'm so glad I get to spend everyday with him. we are very blessed.

I'll try and post some more house pictures soon, if I ever get around to cleaning it all up so I can take the pictures :)

til next time.....

Monday, April 2, 2012

22 weeks/ Nursery

Not much to post about right now. This weekend was really productive for us though. We decided that since Mac had 5 days off that we would try and get going on a couple of our projects. Mostly just painting, but still... I feel like I got alot done. On Thursday we went to the good ol' Home Depot and picked up the paint we'd already picked out for the accent wall in our living room and we also picked out the colors we wanted for the nursery. The accent wall in the living room got taped and finished Friday night. It's super bright but I love it so that's all that matters. I decided that since my kitchen is Red that we would make the living room kind of an aqua blue color and decorate with red and aqua stuff. I'm still trying to figure out what to hang on the wall above the tv. So maybe once I decide on that and get my house cleaned up, I will post a picture of it finished. Here's some of the work-in-progress pics..hubby is the only one in the pics but I promise I helped :)

That's how it turned out all finished.. we usually have our tv stand with 2 bookshelves on either side in front of the wall.. so once I get the pictures hung I will take another one.

I also wanted to get started on the nursery this weekend too. so in order to do so, I had a few more things to sort through and I attempted to get our office a little more organized so it didn't feel so cramped in there. I got it about half decorated.. hopefully I can get the rest finished in the next couple weeks. The nursery finally got emptied of all the other non-baby stuff and I got it all taped and ready for Mac to paint tomorrow- yay!! I took some pics so I could have some before and after photos
don't worry.. we aren't painting an X on the wall... I just put that so Mac would remember not to paint that one, I will be painting that one in a pattern later. Which will most likely take FOREVER to do.. so the completed nursery is still a while away.

Not much else going on for us right now.. We have our big Target ultrasound tomorrow which I am both excited and nervous for. I'm excited cuz you get the cool pictures and get to see things in more detail. I'm nervous that 1) it will be a boy again.. which would be bad since my mom bought all that stuff.. and 2) because they are checking for abnormalities at this one.. so lets hope they don't find any :)

here's a belly shot for your enjoyment lol
21 weeks 5 days

finally starting to show a bit. Mac keeps callin me prego.. or leggo my prego.. or comments on my protruding belly. he's kinda funny about it. I'm feeling alot bigger than I look though.. 
we are officially counting DOWN now instead of UP... 18 more weeks to go :)

til next time..

Monday, March 26, 2012

Baby Journey

this turned out way longer than I thought... my apologies :)
In my last post I said I would kind of write a bit about how we got here. I have read ALOT of other peoples' baby posts about their pregnancy journey and also about their journey trying to conceive. I am grateful for their insight and for being willing to share such things to help other people so I will throw in how we got here and maybe it will offer someone else some perspective or comfort in some way. If nothing else it is sharing one couples story, and since we are all so different, it's nice to hear all the different sides to the topic.

Anyways.. some background about us.. we have been married 6 years this month (seems like a long time to me) but in a way we still feel like we are just beginning our life journey together. When we first got married my hubby and I both said that we would wait a couple years before we started extending our family. Mac's whole plan was that he wanted to finish school and be started in his career and hopefully in a house before we did. I guess he underestimated how long it would take since a couple years of waiting turned quickly into 5. LOL. That's ok though. I know everyone is different and feels ready for children at different points in life. We got married really young so we have plenty of time.

About 3 years into it, I decided I was just about ready though. I had always been a little baby hungry but at this point it was different. I just felt like the time was right so I took it to the hubby who adamantly said NO. he wasn't ready. So I tried to be patient, tried not to nag the situation. But it was hard. I won't lie. It's hard wanting a baby and your spouse not wanting one too. In the beginning it was ok but after a year or so it started frustrating me. We had a few fights about it, and still hadn't reached a compromise.
I think after we had been married about a year and a half though, I somehow got him to agree that if we had been married 5 years and still hadn't started down the baby path that it was no longer up to him and I got to decide.. this came in handy later :)
don't get me wrong about that one though. I had SO many people tell me that I should just stop taking my birth control and have an OOPS baby. That is so WRONG in my opinion. sorry to those who disagree but I feel as though a baby should be a mutual decision and you shouldn't trick someone into having one with you. If it happens as a surprise, that's totally different. I look back and I am so glad I didn't follow their advice. If I had tricked my hubby into having a baby, it wouldn't have been a good thing at all. He would have a totally different attitude about this baby and it wouldn't be a good one either.

so anyway, hubby finished college, and still didn't want one. He said he needed a job in his career first. And those who read my last blog know how LONG and irritating that whole process was. So after months of frustration from that whole issue I told him he had to put a date on it. He couldn't keep me waiting for an undetermined amount of time for him to get a job. So at that point I reverted back to the whole 5 year agreement. Anyone who knows my hubby, knows that you kinda have to make him commit to something, almost put a deadline on it or it will drag on FOREVER! so the date was agreed upon. He said on our 5 year anniversary he would give in and go off all methods of birth control. (wahoo!) and believe me... he made me wait til the exact day too... not one day sooner. (he's a little stubborn if you hadn't noticed)

SO thus began the next chapter of the baby process.
The whole first 5 years of our marriage I constantly said it would take us a long time to get pregnant. I just didn't see it happening quick for us. Mac thought it would happen on the first try lol. I think he was a little worried. The reason I thought it would take a long time was because I knew SO many people who struggled with fertility. Including several in my immediate family. Both of my sisters took years to get all of their babies. My one sister was on all kinds of meds and tried for almost 4 years (with 2 miscarriages in between) to get her baby. so it was just something I expected. So when it didn't happen the first few months I wasn't surprised. I had been off of the pill for almost 6 months when we started trying. (I got mad in october when aunt flo was extra viscous and told mac that if he didn't want to get prego than he was in charge of prevention from then on cuz I wasn't doing the pill anymore) so when we started trying the birth control was pretty well out of my system.  but month after month.. there was still nothing. I tracked my cycles and kept track of everything I could so I would know if it was possible that month or not. I didn't try and force it either. I didn't want to get to the point where it was chore.... ("hurry home honey... I'm ovulating!! ) LOL! I just left it to fate almost. I knew if I forced it, Mac would get annoyed too.. and since he was a little stressed about giving into the baby issue anyway.. I didn't want to make it worse for him.

I don't think I started stressing or getting annoyed til about 6 months in. I started thinking ahead to the doctors visits and making plans for that route. Doctors don't usually want to see you til you've been trying for at least a year, so I was waiting til I had reached that point before I made an appointment. I knew they would ask about what we had been doing to increase our chances and would want to see how my cycles had been in the past year so I was still keeping track. next step was to get a basal thermometer and ovulation test kits so I could say at least we tried them... so I bought the kits first in october and decided to try them first since they were cheaper.

took 3 of them and was convinced none of them would come out positive. I figured I was broken. and I told Mac all the time (jokingly) that I was broken and couldn't give him babies haha. good thing he is sweet and just tells me that he loves me even if I'm broken and he doesn't care if I give him babies.. that's not what he married me for. (I have a dang sweet hubby) luckily i'm not broken and the tests started showing positive signs. So without being too obvious about it, I tried to time it correctly that week.
2 weeks later I was feeling like aunt flo was coming. Had some cramping at night but nothing was happening. Previously in my journey I had decided that I wasn't going to waste lots of money on pregnancy tests and would only take them if I got to day 40 and still hadn't gotten my monthly friend (which puts it at about 10 days late)
so on day 31 or 32 I asked Mac on a saturday what he thought and he suggested I just take one so I quit worrying about it and could mellow out. So the following Monday I woke up at like 8:30. *nature calls. Then I remembered I was gonna take a test. So I hurried and opened it up. I sat on the edge of the tub... wanting to go back to bed... waiting for the little hourglass to tell me I wasn't pregnant.... but then when the result finally registered, that's all it said was 'pregnant'... not the usual 'Not Pregnant' I was so used to seeing.

Yep... I'm one of those people that totally took a picture of my pregnancy test lol. 
So with it being Christmas time and all.. we had all our decor hung up. and I had kind of thought about it before... the 'what ifs' and all that. And I totally had a cute way that I wanted to tell Mac about it... but sitting there on the tub with a pregnant sign staring me in the face.. all rational thinking went out the window. Mac was on graves that week so he had been in bed for about 2 hours when I did all this... so me being an irrational idiot, I ran into the bedroom and woke him up lol... he gave me the best response he could after being woke up after 2 hours of sleep... it was less than enthusiastic though. my bad. he tells everyone that I violently woke him up and shoved a pee stick in his face... he's a bit dramatic. and he also tells people that I seduced him in the night to get this baby.. he had no part of it haha. men... right?

I tried to get in to get a blood test to verify it since I was in a bit of denial, but no one would do it so I had to wait a few weeks to see a doctor. I found out at 4 weeks 5 days. I saw the doc at 6 weeks 5 days. I took 2 more tests in those 2 weeks just to make sure I wasn't imagining it. Even though we were trying, we both were still pretty shocked. I think after having so many negative tests, you just never think one will turn up positive. So when it does, it's still a shock. 
Mac is very happy about it, which is a relief. He still worries and stresses about things but overall he is excited. We waited til Christmas Eve to tell our families... it was the longest 3 weeks of my life! it was so hard not to spill the beans. this is how we told em...

we framed it and wrapped it up and gave it to our moms.. (we mailed mac's mom hers and said when to open it since she lives out of state). needless to say, my mom cried. those who know her, know that this isn't surprising at all. here's the only pics I got of it. wish I could have seen my in-laws faces when they opened theirs.

my sister even cried too. it was pretty epic. Everyone said they might as well take their gifts back cuz no one was gonna top ours :) it was alot of fun. I was glad we found out in December. our families are thrilled about the news and so are we.

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and it happens when it is supposed to. Not necessarily when we want it to. if we had gotten pregnant back in march of last year when we started.. I don't know what we would have done. We probably wouldn't have gotten into our house when we did, that's one thing that would have changed. Mac would have died from stress lol.
Mac says he is pretty shocked at how perfectly everything fell into place. It took forever for him to get his job, then I got mine, then we got our house (which was such a mess, most realtors say that we shouldn't have gotten it based on all the special circumstances that occured too) then 2 months later we got pregnant. It happened exactly how we originally wanted it to! the timing couldn't be better! so even though it took us 10 months, I look back and think that it wasn't that bad at all- some have it so hard when it comes to these things and we are just extremely blessed. it's nice to see so clearly that there really is a plan in place for our lives and we just have to have a little faith and trust that things happen for a reason and they happen exactly when they should. We couldn't be happier about it.

the whole thought of having this baby freaks me out a little bit. I think it's a shock for everyone when they have their first baby. I've had alot of experience with kids so I'm not too worried about whats coming, and my pregnancy has been super easy which I am VERY grateful for. I guess just the thought of having my own kid is a little scary. now we just have to get everything ready for baby girl to get here (which is a whole new challenge in itself!) 
Here's the latest (icky) prego pic :) I promise I'll try and look cuter in the future photos...
20 weeks, 5 days

more posting will be saved for later.. hopefully I'll have something exciting to post about.. a few pics from Vegas I guess.. if nothing else ;)